Chances are, probably not, as Storm Kathleen is having a whale of a time bashing up our western coastline today.
It’s been the first test for Wirral’s great impenetrable sea defence at West Kirby that came in not for a snip – this is Wirral Council we’re talking about – but massively over budget at £19 million of taxpayers’ money.
Now, obfuscating about the source of finances for this project or that project is a tedious game all political entities indulge in, presumably thinking the little people don’t understand all this high-brow stuff.
In this case the council will say the £19m didn’t come out of their budget, which is true. But the money definitely came out of our taxpayer pockets, which is also true.
But other people’s money either way, right?
The Great Wall found its way to construction via the usual labyrinthine route only a local council can fashion:
Cook up a mad idea to spend other people’s money that you know voters will hate.
Hold consultation. Discover voters do indeed hate it. Decide to do it anyway.
Find oddities on the fringe of general society to be the local fall guys when it all goes belly up and throw them a stick.
Seek out a quango to hide behind when the results typically aren’t what you had hoped for – despite ignoring deafening advice from others.
Apply for public cash.
Receive public cash.
Waste public cash.
Any heathens who dared to question the veracity of this scheme were given a block response from the council which looked (and looks – until about 9am tomorrow, when no doubt it’ll disappear) like this:
So there you have it. All safe. All smashing.
Right up until this morning when the wall got its first actual stress test….
Which is when we got this instead (if you don’t use Facebook, ask someone who can in order to see the video).
Which itself resulted in this complete and utter idiocy:
Then:
Scoff at those pointing out the wall is a £19 million chocolate teapot.
Furiously stamp up and down insisting the wall has done its job while literally everyone else takes on the little boy role to point out the emperor is wearing no clothes.
Thunderously declare that black is white:
Yes, that’s Green Party councillor Pat Cleary claiming, with what seems to be a straight face, that the wall isn’t really there to stop water, just to make the waves a bit less, erm, tidally. King Canute need not worry just yet.
Although Cllr Pat seemed not to notice that the ferocity of the water – you know, the force of it, Cllr Pat – meant staff working at Tanskey’s on WK promenade had to be rescued by lifeboat crew (brilliant as ever).
Meanwhile, Storm Kathleen will cause havoc for the next couple of days before eventually blowing itself out.
As is now tradition, the next named storm will have as usual a female name beginning with L, the next letter in the alphabet.
An interesting case appeared on the official list of hearings scheduled to take place last Thursday – August 19, 2021 – at the courts complex in Derby Square, Liverpool.
It follows what happened on Hilbre Island in summer 2019, when fire broke out during the period that maintenance works were taking place at a damaged cavern in a cliffside at the popular beauty spot, as it was feared the roof could collapse placing people at risk.
The case – alleging “an unlicensed marine activity” – involves Wirral Council and a contractor, North West Construction U.K. Limited. The court listing was as follows:
Magistrates court listings
If you can’t quite read that, the docket states that “Between 23rd July 2019 and 24 August 2019 in the UK Marine Licensing Area, you did cause North West Construction U.K. Limited (company number 02060487) to carry on a licensable marine activity, namely the undertaking of structural repairs to a cavern on Hilbre Island including the construction of a wall across the front of the cavern and infilling the cavern with blocks of foam material filled inbetween with polyurethane, other than in Contrary to sections 65(1) and 85(1) and (4) of the Marine and Coastal Access Act 2009.“
Section 65 of the Marine and Coastal Access Act and its relevant (1) subsection can be read here.
And section 85 of the Act and the aforementioned (1) and (4) subsections can be found here.
You can see photos and video of that “environmental disaster” (link) here:
With the court case, it now looks like – after two years – someone, somewhere, is going to be both admonished and fined.
Who though? And how much?
Well, the case was adjourned until October 14 so we won’t know before then.
It is however worth mentioning that Wirral Council is already under a form of special measures for lack of efficiency, and its finances are also already in bad shape.
“Portaloo, couldn’t escape if I wanted to… Portaloo, knowing my fate is to be with you… Oh oh oh oh, Portaloo, finally facing my Portaloo”
When is a chemical dangerous to a beach or not? We’ll come to the blown-over portable toilets on Hoylake promenade in a moment.
We’ve all been told that the use of the weedkiller glyphosate to clear the ugly, invasive grasses on Hoylake beach, which along with subsequent raking to clear the dead remains has been done for years as part of a competent beach management system, is now an absolute no-no on the grounds that it is ever so slightly carcinogenic.
Fair enough. Science and opinion move on, although rarely hand in hand. What’s good for the goose is not necessarily at all good for the gander.
Glyphosate, however, is evidently not quite so carcinogenic so as to stop it being used by Wirral Council over the past few weeks to get pavements, for instance, cleared of weeds right across the entire metropolitan borough.
As we’ve noted earlier, the Birkenhead ward of Bidston and St James – represented by one Cllr Liz Grey, the current Labour “cabinet” member for environment who has unilaterally barred having our beach cleaned, having hitched her wagon to a small group of vocal activists whose plans go far further than merely turning our beach into a swamp – has already had its local pavements cleaned with glyphosate without a murmur of complaint from Cllr Grey, although she would admittedly prefer it if the council wasn’t bothered with such menial tasks, and would rather see council taxpayers doing it themselves, for free.
So has Wallasey ward, which was sprayed last week and the resulting dead debris will be cleared over the next few days, presumably because weed-free amenities and walkways equals happier council taxpayers.
Hoylake is due to begin seeing pavement cleaning as from July 7, so we’ll see – not least because perhaps our local eco-warriors may try to prevent it happening by lying down on pavements in colourful HazMat suits, holding hands and banners and demanding that we “protect our weeds”.
But Cllr Grey appears to dislike Hoylake voters so much for not voting in Labour councillors that she seems prepared to see Hoylake beach become the Royal Liverpool’s 19th hole.
Pitch and clutter: We’re not sure what Rory McIlroy would make of it
After all, the fairway down there is almost ready, and the beach – along with the rest of the UK coastline, still owned by Her Majesty no matter what others forlornly hope to prove otherwise – already comes complete with bunkers and water hazards – although this might prove a testing proposition for those reading this from the comfort of the current 19th hole, also known as the clubhouse bar at the RLGC on Meols Drive.
We’re aware that Wikipedia is not the most reliable source of information, but we’re pretty confident when it imparts this: “Formaldehyde is featured on the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency’s list of the top 10 most hazardous chemicals for damaging the environment. It is carcinogenic in humans and animals because the cross-linking can cause DNA to keep cells from halting the replication process. This unwarranted replication of cells can lead to cancer.”
After a couple of weeks of glorious weather, when flocks of people, despite the coronavirus lockdown, rightly or wrongly headed for both Hoylake and West Kirby beaches, a few things happened at the weekend just gone that raised eyebrows.
The first was the unwelcome sight of litter piled up on West Kirby beach left by butty, beer bottle and barbecue barbarians with no thought for fellow beach users, let alone the environment.
What was welcome, however, was the sight of litter-picking volunteers working alongside the council tractor to help collect the detritus left behind by the selfish louts.
It can be done
There it is, the tractor that must not be used on Hoylake beach being used to clean mess a whole whopping mile away on West Kirby beach.
Well done to all involved in the clear up in West Kirby. It’s understood no natterjack toads were harmed in the making of this photograph
Also notable was, after the sun decided to do its customary disappearing act, that the ever-nimble Wirral Council then decided to put some actual temporary toilet facilities on Hoylake promenade, presumably for the use of people with a desire to stand in horizontal gales while getting soaked to the skin, as the loos weren’t there when the sun was out.
It didn’t go to plan.
I’d give it five minutes if I was you
After dumping the inadequately-weighted half dozen or so loos onto the promenade, next to the railings with the beach inches away, and with the Parade Gardens behind, off the council contractor popped…
…only for the much-predicted high winds to blow them over, allowing the dubious contents of their chemical toilet tanks to start leaking over the prom, in the direction of the beach, as you can see for yourself in the above photograph.
Notice the blue colour streaking from the toilet towards the beach?
The market leader in human waste “breakdown” cleaning chemicals for portable toilets used at camping and caravan sites, public events, music festivals, and yes, makeshift seaside loos when local councils have mystifyingly demolished previously existing facilities, is a perfectly reputable British company called Blue Diamond, based in Yorkshire.
They explain themselves the way to use their formaldehyde-based Blue Diamond cleaning products here.
Suffice to say: Formaldehyde is very good at preserving dead things – but for living things, quite the opposite.
If you’re scratching your head, you are not alone.
What we are being told is that glyphosate is a bad, bad thing for Hoylake beach – but absolutely okay for pavements right across Wirral.
And that formaldehyde, far more carcinogenic and environmentally harmful, is absolutely okay to be allowed to drizzle inexorably towards the same beach that Liz Grey claims to want to allow to blossom into… well, we’re not quite sure what she expects, but it definitely won’t be sand dunes.
In the real world away from political argy bargy, there should be no difference between the cleaning of West Kirby beach to the cleaning of Hoylake beach.
And Cllr Grey really needs to decide, with clarity and speed, which apparently carcinogenic chemicals are okay on Hoylake beach, and which are not.
We want to Save Our Beach. The swampies want a swamp.
They think more mess is a good thing.
In their “safe space” meetings, where no dissent is allowed, they pretend the sand dunes of Birkdale, in Southport, apparently their dream while choosing not to live there, will somehow grow out of this:
Foul, slippery, fetid, rotten mess.
A place no one in their right mind would make a beeline to visit, let alone play on, or live near to, or invest in. Just mess.
No “embryonic” sand dunes. No undulating curves. Just mess.
But when the world returns to normal after the Covid-19 outbreak, and the Royal & Ancient rolls into the village again, watch the council dutifully find the money to staff the tractor rake we’ve already paid forand sits gathering dust, just so they can flog Hoylake for all it is worth in return for some TV coverage and three seconds of fame for someone with a chain around their neck.
A cynic might think those TV images beamed all around the world mean more to some of the higher echelons of the council than the mere home and business owners and council taxpayers who actually pay for it.
No one who grew up in Hoylake remembers the beach being the state it is in now.
That is because it has been carefully managed for decades, right up until last year.
The result of that deliberate withdrawal of beach management is now there for all to see. After just a year of being left to its own devices, it is staring us in the face.
A mess.
The swampies believe nature should be allowed to take its course.
Yet it is doubtful that they also never mow their lawns, tend to their flowerbeds, or flush their toilets.
No one who moved to Hoylake did so because they wanted to live next to a swamp.
No one wants to play on a swamp. No one wants to stroll, jog or ride on a swamp. Only flies, and rats.
House prices don’t rise the closer a property sits to the black lagoon. Inward investment is not boosted by the larger number of vermin and flying insects you have on your once-golden shore.
HOYLAKE Beach is under siege – and not just from the invasive species of grasses being allowed to grow unchecked, which will swiftly reduce our beautiful amenity to a messy, smelly, vermin-ridden swamp.
There is a very small but vocal minority in our village who think this is a fabulous idea. But their arguments in favour of a swamp are spurious at best.
These arguments have been presented in glossy brochures stuffed full of disputed facts and figures, and as an example of their “vision” littered with photographs of that well-known Wirral coastal attraction of… erm, Birkdale beach, in Southport.
No, we can’t begin to understand the logic of that, either.
Buried back on page 21 of their main selling pitch brochure, the protagonists also admit there is nothing scientific about their arguments in favour of a swamp. It is merely their chosen view. It is literally just their opinion.
But the arguments in favour of keeping our beach grass-free and sandy are less than spurious. We just want our beach to remain a beach, and not be encouraged to become a swamp.
We support a degree of beach management – essentially, regular raking of the beach, which has been done for decades resulting in the glorious sandy panorama many of us have been privileged to enjoy from childhood.
We do not advocate the continued use of pesticides harmful to flora and fauna, despite those chemicals having being used for many years with absolutely no detriment to the beach environment.
We want our vast beach preserved, from Red Rocks at least down to Dove Point, not just a relatively small patch of sand as decreed by overlords in an obscure pressure group that has been bestowed an absurd amount of influence – and indeed funding – by the powers that be at Wirral Borough Council.
We think this is terribly unfair. We also think it is incredibly undemocratic. But most of all we think it’s self-defeating and daft.
Unless you are wealthy, time-rich and can afford to play at the Royal Liverpool, the jewel in Hoylake’s crown is its beach.
A beach where it is free to take your children, to walk your dog, to ride your horse, sand-yacht and kite-surf. Where you can walk out seemingly to the horizon to drink in the incredible vista that changes hour by hour. Where you can stroll along the promenade and gaze out at Hilbre, and to North Wales beyond.
Yet these are the very things already becoming spoiled by the emergence of ugly, unnatural grasses.
In 2019, the beach was left to rot by the council on the say-so of a single, stubborn, councillor who refuses to listen to anyone other than those who agree with her. This year, the emergence of coronavirus means this will continue for the forseeable future while council staff are understandably diverted elsewhere.
It means we are now staring out at an increasingly unrecognisable mess which will only get worse.
This is bad for the environment. Bad for residents. Bad for business. There is no upside, however much the swampies will try to tell you otherwise.
But it is not irreversible. By joining together under one banner, we can stop people most have never heard of ruining our village and its environment forever. All we have to do is collectively, and loudly, say “no”.
It’s time to stand up for our beautiful beach. It’s time to #❤️Hoylake.
#❤️Hoylake 