Say Hello (To Taxpayer Money), Wave(s) Goodbye (To Pretending You Know What You’re Doing)

On By lovehoylake

Enjoying the weather?

Chances are, probably not, as Storm Kathleen is having a whale of a time bashing up our western coastline today.

It’s been the first test for Wirral’s great impenetrable sea defence at West Kirby that came in not for a snip – this is Wirral Council we’re talking about – but massively over budget at £19 million of taxpayers’ money.

Now, obfuscating about the source of finances for this project or that project is a tedious game all political entities indulge in, presumably thinking the little people don’t understand all this high-brow stuff.

In this case the council will say the £19m didn’t come out of their budget, which is true. But the money definitely came out of our taxpayer pockets, which is also true.

But other people’s money either way, right?

The Great Wall found its way to construction via the usual labyrinthine route only a local council can fashion:

  1. Cook up a mad idea to spend other people’s money that you know voters will hate.
  2. Hold consultation. Discover voters do indeed hate it. Decide to do it anyway.
  3. Find oddities on the fringe of general society to be the local fall guys when it all goes belly up and throw them a stick.
  4. Seek out a quango to hide behind when the results typically aren’t what you had hoped for – despite ignoring deafening advice from others.
  5. Apply for public cash.
  6. Receive public cash.
  7. Waste public cash.

Any heathens who dared to question the veracity of this scheme were given a block response from the council which looked (and looks – until about 9am tomorrow, when no doubt it’ll disappear) like this:

So there you have it. All safe. All smashing.

Right up until this morning when the wall got its first actual stress test….

Which is when we got this instead (if you don’t use Facebook, ask someone who can in order to see the video).

Which itself resulted in this complete and utter idiocy:

Then:

  1. Scoff at those pointing out the wall is a £19 million chocolate teapot.
  2. Furiously stamp up and down insisting the wall has done its job while literally everyone else takes on the little boy role to point out the emperor is wearing no clothes.
  3. Thunderously declare that black is white:

Yes, that’s Green Party councillor Pat Cleary claiming, with what seems to be a straight face, that the wall isn’t really there to stop water, just to make the waves a bit less, erm, tidally. King Canute need not worry just yet.

Although Cllr Pat seemed not to notice that the ferocity of the water – you know, the force of it, Cllr Pat – meant staff working at Tanskey’s on WK promenade had to be rescued by lifeboat crew (brilliant as ever).

Meanwhile, Storm Kathleen will cause havoc for the next couple of days before eventually blowing itself out.

As is now tradition, the next named storm will have as usual a female name beginning with L, the next letter in the alphabet.

Odds on Storm Liz, anyone?

PS. Someone else not enjoying the weather will be the Echo, and the idiots quoted in this at only 11.39am this morning…..

You really couldn’t make it up.

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